Intellectually and spiritually, we project on God, the father we experienced as children. It is natural to long for God through our fathers (and also our mothers). This longing is part of our spiritual DNA. When our developmental longing is met with a loving, nurturing father, this influences our concept of God.
French writer, Anais Nin, diagnosed the problem acutely of the profound negative affect a father can have. She wrote, The human father has to be confronted and recognized as human, as man who created a child and then, by his absence, left the child fatherless and then Godless.
Nin's father abandoned her when she was young, which influenced her life and writings significantly. She is considered one of the early inspirations of feminist philosophy.
Fathers indeed are human, however, it can not be overstated how profoundly children are influenced by his behavior, spiritually as well as psychologically. Regarding a child's God concept, and later as an adult, the great I Am may not be present for someone whose father was absent. The Creator probably doesn't care for one whose father was neglectful. The Merciful Father is most likely punitive for he or she whose father was abusive.
I have been working through my own concept of God. For many years I have said that God has replaced the father I really never had. My experience of fathers has been one of abandonment (possibly suicide), absent (the years between having a birth father and an adoptive father), and abusive (my adoptive father).
My friend and psychotherapist challenged me on my concept of God recently in a session. Because of my past, it would be understandable that I would have a negative view of God as father.
I said, "I know that God is my Father and that he loves me."
She said, "I don't think you do."
"I know he does."
"I don't think you do. You believe cognitively that God loves you, but you haven't accepted it emotionally. You do not believe it in your soul."
This dialogue reminded of the Seinfield episode when Jerry had a conversation with the car rental agent.
Agent: I'm sorry, we have no mid-size available at the moment.
Jerry: I don't understand, I made a reservation, do you have my reservation?
Agent: Yes, we do, unfortunately we ran out of cars.
Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the
reservation.
Agent: I know why we have reservations.
Jerry: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
Anyone can say that they believe cognitively that God loves them, but do they experience the love of God deep in their soul?
Do I really believe that God loves me? I have been giving this some serious thought. Down deep, in my soul, do I really believe that God loves me?
5 comments:
Once, I told my kid not to be afraid of going to his room alone.
He said, "What should I do if I get scared?"
"God will be with you."
He looked at me, and sheepishly said, "I'd prefer someone with skin."
Yes! When fathers and mothers let their children know that they are unconditionally loved, they become God with skin on. Then it comes more "naturally" for them to believe that God loves them when they are older.
David,
This is good, good stuff. Knowing in the soul. My struggle was to believe He loved me unconditionally and that I didn't have to earn His love. Know that's going deep and it has revolutionized my entire life.
Is that a picture of you and your kids? Beautiful family!!!
Paula,
No, this is not a picture of my family. I found it on the internet and I thought this dad portrayed how I felt about my kids. Thank you for your thoughts!
David, I was very fortunate to have a dad who showed me God's unconditional love. When he had to introduce me, he would say, "This is MY daughter," as though that was what made me valuable—and to him it was. I was embarrassed by it as a teen, but now I know I was truly loved.
When it comes to God, though, who has no "skin," as Nancy put it, I think it can be hard to grasp his love emotionally, even when we know of it intellectually. Sometimes we just have to trust in what we know to be true.
Post a Comment