Fathering Crisis

The National Center for Fathering is on the cutting edge of the fathering crisis. The following is from their weekly newsletter.

George Williams, the National Center’s executive director of the Urban Father-Child Partnership, gave compelling testimony yesterday to the District of Columbia Subcommittee in the U.S. Senate. Here are some of his remarks:

When I was three years old, an alarm sounded in the African American community but nobody took action. That was 40 years ago when then social scientist, the late Daniel Patrick Moynihan, sounded the alarm in the report, The Negro Family: The Case for National Action. He tried to alert our country to a crisis in the Black community that went to the very heart of its survival, the failing Black family. He pointed out the signs of lower marriage and higher father absence rates. Yet leaders turned a deaf ear.

As a man who shares the African heritage, and a husband of 20 years, a father of four and a marriage and family therapist, I say it is time to respond to that alarm with vigorous action. The action required is to help men move closer to marriage through father training. Father training can give men the relational skills and motivation that they need to strengthen their connections to their children and their children’s mother(s). And in the long term, as men are awakened to their fathering responsibilities, they are often drawn to marriage because of its benefits to them and their children. It has worked with dads in the urban core.

George concluded his remarks with outcome-based examples of effective fathering programs he has implemented in the inner city.

To Think About ...

George’s testimony prompted a senator to ask him, “How does promoting fatherhood strengthen marriage?” George replied, “Fatherhood and marriage are complex, but linked. After working seven years with urban fathers, I have found that most men are further from marriage than fathering. However, when these men are encouraged to develop the relational skills needed to become good fathers, more often than not they end up marrying.”

One of the best things we can do for our kids is to love and respect their mother. For many men in this age of divorce and unwed births, respecting their children’s mother may be the most they can hope for. If that’s the case for you, I urge you to make every effort to treat her well and cooperate with her. She is still one of your best assets as a dad. And regardless of our personal experiences, we must take every opportunity to talk to our children about the benefits of marriage.