Exploring your past in order to better understand the present can be dangerous, especially without a net. For some, it is a walk in the park, a pleasant trip down memory lane. For others, it is "Nightmare on Elm Street." The risk is probably too great for those who have had a painful past, unless you can make the journey with a therapist, counselor, or therapeutic friend.
The past two to three years I have been on a discovery tour. I have learned some things about myself and my past. I have also realized that there are many questions that will go unanswered -- either because of a fear that I might hurt someone, or that there is no one alive to ask.
Depression has been the consequence of being on this road to discovery. It would probably have been less difficult with a guide. I chose to travel alone. This is not the first time I have been down that road, so I know when I have gone too far (when the happy chemicals in my brain are depleted), and can't seem to get out of the dark forest.
My family doctor gave me some medication which cleared my mind, yet was destroying my body. Because my symptoms were rare for this particular medication, when I went back to the doctor he thought I was having another problem. I spent two months taking different kinds of antibiotics and having tests. Finally, I convinced him that it was the antidepressants he prescribed. I quit taking them and the problem went away. However, the depression returned with vengeance. This time I called a friend who is a psychologist and she recommended a psychiatrist. After a thorough interview, Dr. Gandhi (a woman) prescribed a different medication, and it has made a huge difference. I am now free of depression, at least while I am on the medication.
What can I do to avoid becoming clinically depressed in the future, and eliminate the need for medication? The answer is simple, yet challenging - change the way I think. Have you ever thought about how you think? What have you done to avoid or win the battle over depression?
August 11, 2005
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About Me
- David Michael
- Katy, Texas, United States
- Being a husband and a father is the greatest blessing in my life. I am also a Special Educator to students with an autism spectrum disorder.
9 comments:
Honest Post, CoreLife!
I admire your desire to be off the medication. It's so different with everyone, but my depression lessened when I was baptized with the Holy Spirit. I think that when you are trying to get rid of something bad, you have to be filled with something good. If you try to fix it otherwise, it'll be worse than when you started:
Matthew 12:43
"When an evil[f] spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. 44Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. 45Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first."
It is probably dangerous territory to be this open. Thank you for your comments. You have definitely given me something to think and pray about!
Having absolutely no training or experience with depression, I still homed in on one key statement you made.."I chose to travel alone"
Perhaps, the answer you seek lies in your own statement.
Donna,
Great insight! It is been awhile sense I have been in genuine community. Also, I have been hesitant to go to a therapist, pastor, or counselor. Thank you!
Dee,
Your comments are blog posts! Thank you so much. I do not plan to go off of the Effexor anytime soon. I agree about the genetics. That is one reason I went to the doc.
The medication eliminates the catastrophic thinking. It also gives me space to change the way I think.
This is a very good topic for discussion. Dr. Peter Kramer makes an excellent point in his book, Against Depression. He says that clinical depression should be thought of as diabetes. He posits that no one would question denying medication for a diabetic, why all the controversy concerning depression.
The spiritual causes of depression is also a very good topic for discussion.
Dee,
So glad to hear that you got the help you needed. You are a woman of great insight and kindness. Your posts are always so thoughtful.
However, you may have misunderstood my position on this. I didn't mean to indicate that a cure for depression is to "think on good things."
I meant that SOMETIMES there are spiritual causes for depression. In David's case, with all he's been through, it wouldn't be a stretch to think that perhaps his roots are of the spiritual sort.
What I was talking about is the spiritual truth shown in Matthew 12. If bad spirits are the cause, you must get rid of them. THEN, you must be filled up with something good. You "can't leave your house unoccupied."
I'm talking spiritually now.
It won't solve all problems, but it will fill you to overflowing with the goodness of God. It leaves little room for else.
What do you think, David? :)
NJ
"In those cases, much more extensive help is needed than just reading the Bible, studying God's word, meditating on it's relevance and completeness and questioning one's own faith in the situation."
Dee,
I'm saying that people need to be filled with the Holy Spirit, not just the things mentioned above. And I wouldn't dare talk to your situation either, and do in deed look forward to reading more about what went on with you.
I do, however, feel strongly that being baptized with the Holy Spirit shouldn't be overlooked... I'm not talking about people who have PHYSICAL problems. I'm talking of the spiritual.
(Although we know God heals physically too.)
Seriously, I admire and respect you guys. Am not trying to diminish your testimony about God delivering you via medication and therapists!
Love you guys!
NJ
Some people are more prone to depression than others. Those who experienced early childhood trauma are the very susceptible. There are also different stages of depression from dysthmia to major depression. There is also bipolar depression. Depression is complex.
How a person thinks has a lot to do with depression. Stress is what depletes the chemicals in the brain that stabilizes our mood.
How we think is a major player in creating depression. That is what I am going to write about next.
Not if we take over your whole blog, you won't write about that tomorrow.....
Come on Dee... Let's keep writing back and forth like David's blog is our own personal post office!
I suffered from severe post partum depression, and it took 9 months for me to come out of it. At the time, I could not seek help because of the stigma.
Getting pregnant is probably what cured me. Mind you, I was severly depressed because I had a 9 month old. A dear lady from church who was childless got a hold of me and told me I needed to view my pregnancy as a blessing. It is what I needed, and I think my hormones leveled out too.
I had another bout when I left my ex husband. I went on Welbutrin and I lost weight.
I honestly think I was more prone to be depressed because of genetics. I am the only child of my siblings who is not on an anti-depressant. I do choose to be joyful every morning, taking the focus off me.
Depression is an illness, just like any other illness.
David, thanks for opening a window to your soul. You always bless me!
Hoots
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