Longings Unfulfilled

Written on our hearts are these deep inner longings. The longings are:

the deep longing for parenting;
the deep longing for companionship and emotional development;
the deep longing for power and freedom, and
the deep longing for meaning and purpose.

If these longings are fulfilled, we have an excellent chance of being emotionally, mentally, and spiritually actualized. There is never a guarantee with life, but if a person's longings are met, life is good. The cycle has a greater chance of repeating itself.

What prevents these internal desires from being met? This is what Grant and Miller refer to as the "gap." Instead of the yearning for perfect:

parenting being fulfilled, there is neglect;
companionship and emotional development being fulfilled there is enmeshment;
power and freedom being fulfilled, there is abuse;
and meaning and purpose being fulfilled, there is abandonment.

Obviously, no one is raised in a perfect environment. After studying parenting, foster care, child abuse, trauma, etc., I came up with a scale regarding upbringing versus outcome. 10 represents the "perfect" environment, -10 represents the extreme opposite. When a person leaves home, based on their upbringing, what is their score?

- 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 +

When you left home, where would you put yourself on this scale?