The Dark Side of Life

Overcoming a painful past to live a peaceful present is not an easy task. There are many who never make the journey. Because of painful family of origin experiences, they never break the cycle of dysfunction.

If they were abandoned, they may never overcome the feeling of rejection. If they were abused, they may live in constant fear. If they were neglected, they may have a constant feeling of loneliness. If they experienced enmeshment, they may have a difficult time with boundaries. What about those who never have had a chance at life?

When I was working in foster care as a Community Relations Coordinator, I had the opportunity to spend time with the case workers, psychologists, and other professionals. Often they would talk about some of their most difficult cases. It was not uncommon to see children who had the scars from burns on their faces, arms, or legs. This was often the result of a parent intentionally burning a child. One all too common occurrences was the burn marks on the arms or stomach from a cigarette. Then there were cases where parents would leave their children for days at a time, while they were off drinking.

One of the worst cases was a six month old girl that was sexually abused (in the worst ways) by her mother's "boyfriend." Sexual abuse is one of the most hideous of all abuses because of what it does to children in every area of their life. Not always, and it not "written in stone," but many times those who were sexually abused, become abusers. This is true of every form of abuse. Sometimes the reverse happens where they become victims for life.

Imagine foster children who go from home to home, are never adopted, have no family and age out of the system after they turn 18. What do you say? "Goodbye and good luck. Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps." It is sad, but that is exactly what many of these young people hear.

These children enter adulthood in the negatives. The worst the abuse, the lower the number. The lower the number, the more difficult it is to get into the positive.

Resilient individuals are those who are able to get their lives into the positive. The lower the number, the greater resiliency is needed.

What was your number when you entered adulthood? Do you believe that you can get on the positive side of life? You can! "All things are possible to him who believes."