Relationships and Resiliency

Successful relationships are the fruit of a resilient person. How does someone grow up in a dysfunctional family or in some type of institutional setting and have a strong, healthy family?

Antwone Fisher, author of the book, Finding Fish spoke at a luncheon to raise money for the Depelchin Children's Center in Houston. You may have seen his movie with Denzell Washington -- Antwone Fisher. After the luncheon, I had the opportunity to meet with Antwone along with some others who were involved in foster care. I asked him what he did to become a successful husband and an effective father to his two daughters. He said, "I was determined not to raise my children like I was raised." Words which echoed my own thoughts when I became a father.

A determination to break the cycle of abuse draws on the resilient strengths of insight, independence, and morality. Insight helps us evaluate and realize that this is not the way life should be. Independence helps us separate ourselves from the sources of trouble in our lives. And morality gives us a place to gather the resources and strength necessary to "break the cycle" of pain.