Bouncing Back from Losing a Father

In an ideal world, a child in the first 18 months of life develops a trust bond to his/her parents (this process began in the womb). When he is hungry, he is fed. When she is thirsty, she is given something to drink. When what goes in comes out, it is taken care of. When the needs of a child are met, he begins to believe that this world is not a bad place.

Built on a foundation of trust, the child then begins to acquire a sense of independence. This occurs generally between 18 months and 3 years old. After the child has a sense of autonomy, she begins to take more initiative.

In the first three to six years of life, if a child does not successfully work through these stages; instead of trust there is mistrust; instead of autonomy, their is shame and doubt; instead of initiative, their is guilt.

Back to "my story." Losing my father at three introduced me to a world of shame, doubt, and guilt. If Freud was right, my desires for my father's death in order to have my mother to myself became realized. However, the end result of the Oedipus Complex is to work through these feelings. The outcome is the desire to be just like dad!

Memories of my father the first three years of my life are few, but very precious. I remember being his "Davy Crockett." I remember going to an air show. I remember riding in the back seat of our big car with my sister Terry (13 months older). I remember playing in the dirt while my dad worked in the yard. However, I have one memory that is my most vivid. This memory has been an inspiration to me my entire life.

TBC...