Beam Me up Jesus

When it comes to the end of the world, I have a simple theology. Jesus Christ is going to return, judge all people, the believers will be beamed up (Heaven), and the unbelievers will become toast (Hell). We do not know when this is going to happen.
(references: I Thessalonians 4:13-18; The Fire that Consumes by Edward Fudge)

When THE END happens, the Left Behind groupies will be lost in space (figuratively of course). There may even be an orientation area set up for deprogramming. I can hear it now, "What about Armageddon?" or "I thought Israel was going to make a comeback?" or "I thought Clinton was the anti-Christ?" An announcement comes on from the Bose Speakers, "May I have your attention. Bill Clinton, please come to the reception area. King David wants to meet with you."

If you have read this far, you may be thinking that I have a screwed up theology. Sorry, but I can not get my mind to wrap around interpretations of Revelation that are USA-centric, which requires a fill in the blank chart to figure out -- "insert current enemies of Israel here." Also, what kind of God would have an eternal Heaven running simultaneous with an everlasting (in the sense that it never ends) Hell. To me, that makes about as much sense as God passing out harps (hopefully Martin guitars) in Heaven, yet condemning instrumental music (see Revelation 14:2).

If I was able to get out a message to "Christians," I would say, "Back off of the Rapture rhetoric, live a life of love, and start talking about grace."