Father's Day

Today was my first Father's Day with no children at home. Our youngest, Michael (Miguel) is in Mexico on a mission trip. Matthew (Mateo) is in Costa Rica on a summer mission, and Melissa is a counselor all summer at Camp Kadesh. I miss my kids, however, I am very excited that they are having such wonderful experiences.

I have always been hesitant to give out too much fathering advice, because I did not want to tell someone how to raise children until I had some credibility. Of course I am not through raising my children, but I do think they are headed in the right direction, so here it goes.

Father Coach

I. Marry the right woman.

Parenting is a team sport. My heart goes out to single parents, because I know how difficult parenting is with two. Marry someone with the least amount of "baggage" as possible, especially if you are like me. I was carrying more baggage than Southwest Airlines. Phyllis was calm, patient, and had some very similar ideas to parenting that I had.

II. Children are a gift from God.

We named are first son Matthew because it means, "gift from the Lord." When you think of your kids as a gift from God, it helps you keep perspective on what your role is.

III. Never put down your children.

Putting down children is like vomiting. The vomit is created because the pain of the past has not been worked through. There must be a conscious decision to never belittle your children. We would tell our children when they were acting inappropriately, "This is not like you."

IV. Reserve spanking for danger and willful defiance.

A swat on the seat or hand is appropriate when they are about to stick their tongue in the light socket, or they are biting the ear off of the neighbor child and their jaws are locked. Also when a child is so defiant that they have that look in their eye that they want to take over. A little swat on the rear, and time to think it over in their room. Try at all costs to avoid spanking. If you are a foster parent or you have adopted older children who were abused, do not spank. It is not received the same way as a child who does not have a troubled past. Once a child is five or six, then do not spank. Hopefully, you would have only spanked a child a few times.

V. Take your children to church and church related activities early and often.

VI. Somewhere in your house or on your door, have the scripture visible, "Choose you this day whom you are going to serve. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

VII. Introduce your children to positive music very early. We started taking our kids to Christian rock concerts when they were in elementary school. We also listen to Christian music, oldies, and music that was family oriented.

VIII. Say often, "Remember who you are and whose you are. You are representing our family and God."

IX. Believe in what your children can become. Early on give suggestions on vocations and if one sticks, encourage them with books, films, and by introducing them to people in that profession.

X. Pray, pray, pray!

What are some things that has worked for you?