Today in the Houston Chronicle, I have a letter published in the Viewpoints section. I did not come up with the title. The purpose of this letter is to evoke a conversation about child abuse. I do not expect everyone to agree with me. The article following my letter is a recent report of child abuse.
'Super Nanny' does a good job
WHEN is our society going to get it that children become adults? Abused children become adults, and if not abusive adults, these people become abused adults. There are exceptions, but very few. About 1,500 children die in America each year due to child abuse. What can be done about it? Will tougher laws protect children? And why not make it illegal to hit a child? There are already laws that protect foster children from corporal punishment — we should extend those laws to all parents. Some say that discipline without spanking cannot be done. I suggest they watch watch an episode of Super Nanny, whose star always finds a way to effectively discipline children without hitting them.
Mandatory education should be required before a parent takes a child home from the hospital. At that time, these new parents could be told that if they abuse their children, their parental rights will be taken away. Of course this is radical, but, in one generation, we would see a significant reduction in the number of children who are abused.
DAVID M. BARNETT Katy
Check out Spanking: Facts and Fiction for research on spanking
Coral Springs man arrested on aggravated child abuse and neglect charges
By Teresa Lane
Palm Beach Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
PORT ST. LUCIE — A Coral Springs man who claims the Bible gives him permission to spank his daughter was arrested on aggravated child abuse and neglect charges Saturday after police found several deep bruises spanning from the girl's knees to lower back.
Michael C. Bilodeau, 48, was released from the St. Lucie County Jail on $10,000 bond Sunday after telling police he inflicts corporal punishment on his 12-year-old daughter because she misbehaves and is a "chronic liar." Bilodeau said he sent his daughter to live with friends in Port St. Lucie who share his religious beliefs because her mother, an Internet addict, neglected her. He gave the caregivers permission to spank the girl and always listened to the spankings over speaker phone, according to police reports.
A Walgreen's customer called police Friday night after seeing the girl begging for money outside the store at 280 S.W. Port St. Lucie Blvd. The girl said her father's friend beat her four times April 5 with a leather belt and often hit her her for not reading well, using slang and "not accepting Jesus" into her heart.
"The bruises on her back were atrocious," police spokesman Rob Vega said. "They ran from behind her knees to her lower back, in various stages of healing. It's quite obvious to us this has gone on for a period of time." Police are investigating the caregiver's role in the beatings, and more charges may be filed, Vega said. The girl ran away from home early Thursday and spent the night in a house under construction, prompting the caregivers to call her father the next day, reports state.
When police arrived at the caregivers' home Friday night, Bilodeau was there and said he had not reported the girl missing because he thought she was at a neighbor's house. Although he first told police the caregivers were on a trip, he later said they were looking for his daughter and could not be reached on their cell phones.
The Florida Department of Children and Families took the girl into protective custody. Bilodeau, who lives at 11859 N.W. 30th Ct. in Coral Springs, declined to comment Tuesday.
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About Me
- David Michael
- Katy, Texas, United States
- Being a husband and a father is the greatest blessing in my life. I am also a Special Educator to students with an autism spectrum disorder.
2 comments:
Michael- Great article. I do believe the super nanny has some incredible principles to teach about parenting. The popularity of the show attests to our culture's cry for parental equipping. Unfortunately... because of the dysfunctonal parenting in our country there is a despareging(sp?)chasm between "healthy spanking" and "hitting kids". The baby (healthy spanking) gets thrown out with the bathwater (hitting kids as a result of total chaos in the house, out of anger, calling it "spanking".) It is yet another biblical principle that gets skewed. Obviously I am a proponent of "spanking" occasionally.
Our public schools have removed this form of discipline and though it cannot be all of the blame, there may be something to the fact that teachers have no recourse for the incredilous, disrespectable behavior that is making our schools have become marked by. I talk with teachers all the time that have watched this change in policy and to a person their perspective is that is have brougt about chaos. I had a healthy respect for my teachers partly because I got my butt busted ( not abuse) when I stepped out of line. Obviously, the higher motive would be because I want to Please all my teachers, but for me, an ADHD kid (the didn't diagnose this in the late 70's early 80's) the use of healthy moderate discipline kept me in line most of the time.:}
Several Observations about the Super Nanny.
1. She has great structural boundaries for boundariless families.
2. She is confident about her system. This "respect" gives her an authority with kids.
3. Most kids give are dying for what the super nanny gives them (structure, boundaries, etc)so they have immediate positive results.
4. ABC showes us the "Success" stories and is not around to see what happens 6 months later.
5. Just because the nanny's non-spanking principles bring really positive change doesn't negate the fact that there could be additional change and positive results if healthy spanking were a part of the action/consequence tool box.
6. My kids almost always act much better for other people than they do with "others". You see this on the nanny cam when she leaves the house. Part of the process, but true non the less. This aspects surely heightens her affectiveness- not to take away from her approach- it has great principles.
Just some thoughts. I do not believe that "spare the rod, spoil the child" means that the only way to get your child to healthy respect and behavior is to spank.It would be an injustice to this verse to relegate it to spanking. But I do believe it plays a part. I have four kids, the oldest being 6. Very rarely does she need a healthy swat. I write these things because so many Godly principles and ways of living in relationship seen in the bible seem to be under attack. Staying in marriage. Fidelity. Loving one another enought to confront. etc. be additional changes
I am married to a Marriage and Family therapist so we have some great conversations about these things!! Many very lively... Aren't you a counselor? Not sure. Anyways... thanks for listening to my ramblings...
Michael- One more comment after reading the horrific story of abuse. I pray we don't run from Godly things or principles- just because people have taken them to unhealthy or abusive extremes. I.E. David Coresh used the word of God to create a sick cult, I still want to read the word. All sorts of sick, spiritual abuse (like the one in the article) has happened in churches, I still believe the Church is the body of Christ and God's instrument to save the world. I still believe that grace saves me, though some have used Grace as a liscense to continue to live a life of sin. You get my drift. Have a great day..
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