A Christmas Letter

Christmas Greetings from the Barnett family! We have had another blessed year! Everything has been coming up roses! Speaking of horticulture, we lost most of our front yard this year due to some type of fungus. The good news about fungus is that it is almost gone on my big toe. Duke, our dog, made it through another year. We weren't sure after all of his hair fell out during the summer. He looked like he had chemo therapy. Maybe I should stop killing the fire ants with gasoline.

Our children are doing fantastic!! Matthew and Melissa are going to the same college. Our children and all the money we can borrow go to Abilene Christian University. Melissa is a freshman, and Matthew is a junior. It has worked out very well. Everything has settled down between them since I received a threatening letter from someone at ACU. Matthew and Melissa only had one wreck each this year (no one was hurt). We were blessed to have insurance. The great thing about having insurance is that Christians don't have to sue each other. They can sue the insurance company. Of course I pay about $600 a month for being in such good hands.

Michael, a sophomore, is continuing his education at Katy High School. He is majoring in football with a minor in wrestling. Michael had his picture in the Houston Chronicle. He was the T in K-A-T-Y at the state championship game in Texas Stadium. He and his buddies were painted from their belly buttons to the top of their heads. We are so proud! I think his buddy Patrick was the mastermind. Katy lost the state championship game to Southlake Carroll. I didn't know until the Southlake players took their helmets off that steroids caused your hair to turn blonde. It was a sad loss after such a great season. Next year, as they say.

Phyllis had another great year teaching third grade. She is a great teacher and does not experience stress like most teachers, especially since she has been taking a handful of Benadryl each night to help her relax and go to sleep. Coffee helps get her going in the morning. She found a way to save time. Instead of making coffee, she eats the beans straight out of the bag. It is such a blessing that Listerine has a new teeth whitening mouth wash. By the way, have you seen the new reality show, "Intervention," on A&E?

I (David) have been doing extremely well since the antidepressants finally kicked in. It took awhile before I was able to get the monkeys off of my back. At least, I think that is what they were. My therapist has really helped this year. My thoughts of sitting on top of my house and meditating all day have subsided. My job had some up and downs this year. We had two hurricanes which affected my sales. The great thing is that I was able to get off salary and go on straight commission. It looks like I am going to have a great April. If you can float me a loan until then it would be very appreciative. Have you ever used Pay Pal?

I have been looking for beach property. Padre Island looks like a nice spot -- that is the National Park. We could stay there for $10 a night. It is such a blessing that the front seats of our car lay back. This would be a great place to live in case our house goes into foreclosure. By the way, are your property taxes as high as ours?

Have a Merry Christmas! (Scroll down)

(By the way, this is a parody on Christmas newsletters).

__________________________________________________

I got the idea for doing a parody Christmas letter from my sister, Terry. Seriously, we are blessed to have three wonderful children who are all doing well. We are also blessed with an extended family and caring friends. One of the blessings of this year has also been blog friends. Sometimes I wish we could all meet at Starbucks. Maybe someday we can pick somewhere in the middle, or on an island in the Caribbean and meet. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!