Nightmare of a Lifetime

This post is part two to the previous post. You may want to read "Another Young Father Falls" before you read this one.

Dreams, including nightmares are common after experiencing a traumatic event. I have studied Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and had a good friend who was (Dean died of a brain tumor a year after this event) a psychologist and specifically trained in counseling victims of PTSD. He prepared me for what might happen, however, nothing could have prepared me for the worst nightmare of my life.

This dream was at the end of a series of dreams. I don't remember what the beginning dreams were, except it was something like being chased. I would wake myself up, then I would go back to sleep and begin the dream again. Then everything became clear. It was almost as if I was no longer dreaming, but taken back in time.

I was laying on my single bed, the bed I slept on when I was in High School. All of a sudden my father (adoptive) comes in to my room. He is wearing a white western shirt, his big belt, boots, and a hat. I look up and he is pointing his 38 pistol over me. I don't have anytime to do anything before he shoots. Everything then begins moving in slow motion. I feel the bullet going through my body, in my chest. I look up and my dad has the gun by his side and I realize he is not going to shoot again. I look down and see the chest wound. I am aware that I am not dead. Then it comes to me. He missed my heart. The bullet goes right through my body, but misses my heart.

I woke up myself up by yelling. My body was in a cold sweat. Phyllis woke up and held me as I told her about the dream. This dream was the last one I had of the PTSD affects, but it has stayed with me, almost everyday for the past two and a half years. What was the meaning of this dream?

Next: My interpretation of the dream.