If you are new to this blog, you may want to go back to June 5 and read in sequence to get a better understanding of this post.
Phyllis was pregnant. How did she know? I told her. Isn't that the way it works? Each time I knew something wasn't right, so I went and bought a pregnancy test. Phyllis tested in the morning, and it turned out positive.
Phyllis was teaching and I was working with the same company that I had worked for in Austin as a school fundraiser. We lived in Mesquite which is on the east side of Dallas. We had a new house and life was going well. Many of our friends from college and church were having their first child. It was time.
Phyllis' pregnancy was going very well. She had very little sickness, except for a case of chicken pox -- which was a sight to behold. It was a very rare case, and the doctors were not sure about the affect to the baby, however, they did not think there would be any problems.
As Phyllis progressed, I became more depressed. It was very obvious to me that I should be getting more excited each day, but that wasn't what was happening. It wasn't that difficult to figure out what was going on in mind -- fear. Fear that I would raise my children like I was raised started entering my mind. I decided to go see someone I had met a few times at church who was a psychologist.
Cliff was very easy to talk to. He gave me a test and it revealed that I had some anxiety and depression. I decided to visit with him once a week until I could straighten this thing out. It was not until the forth visit that I began sharing some of the most darkest parts of my history. These were things that I had only shared with Phyllis. It was like the scene in Good Will Hunting. After I shared some of my past, I started sobbing. Dr. Cliff came over, gave me a hug, and said, "It wasn't your fault, it wasn't your fault." It was one of the most cleansing experiences I had ever had.
Everything seemed to be moving right along as Phyllis became larger and larger and larger. She had this craving for hot mix, which was hot pickles, onions, carrots, and peppers. She could down a jar of hot mix during an episode of Mash. Then the day arrived, however, our first born almost didn't make it.
About Me
- David Michael
- Katy, Texas, United States
- Being a husband and a father is the greatest blessing in my life. I am also a Special Educator to students with an autism spectrum disorder.
6 comments:
Isn't it amazing how God places the right people at the right moment in our lives? Cliff was just what you needed at the right moment, praise God!
You ought to write a TV show, you are so good at cliff hangers!
Your sis in the Lord,
Karen
You're killing me with the cliff hangers, but they keep me coming back, so I guess they serve their purpose, don't they?!
David,
I am catching up again after being at camp for a week. I mourn that I was not excited for our first child. I wanted to be but still to this day have trouble showing excitement (even though I now feel it). Was this the first time someone told you it was not your fault?
TCS,
Welcome back! This was the first time I had told anyone about my dad hitting me. I told only a few people that I was adopted.
I am glad he had the wisdom to tell you that. I guess I need to post about this. I talked at camp about the power of words and how they can change a life.
You've got to be kidding me with that "cliff hanger". Hurry up and post again. And it's never the child's fault.
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