Adoptee Loneliness

This thought provoking question is from a comment left by my friend Sherrie Eldridge on my other blog www.olderchildadoptee.blogspot.com :

I would like to pose a question to adult fellow adoptees. I have discovered that beneath the FEAR of abandonment and being forgotten is terrible loneliness. Do you find this true in your lives? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Sherrie Eldridge
www.adoptionjewels.org

This was my short response, a more complete response will become a blog post:

As I have thought of my own battle with loneliness over the years, I think it may partly be from being in my head so much, constantly analyzing the adoption situation . I was adopted as an older child with a sibling group, yet, we never talked about our feelings about being adopted. When feelings aren't shared, then this contributes to the feeling of aloneness. Abandonment is a constant fear. With this comes depression, which also contributes to loneliness. Of course it is circular: fear, loneliness, anger, depression, fear, loneliness, anger, depression, etc.

IMHO: Depression seems to be the common denominator. I believe adoptees are more prone to depression than the average population. There are some research studies that indicate this. Anger is known to be a contributing factor to depression, and many adoptees have a lot of anger. Perhaps a great book would be: Adoptees and Depression.

I highly recommend Sherrie's books: Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew and Twenty Life Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make.

Please leave a comment and then email this post to anyone you know who is touched by adoption.